Teach & Serve IV, No. 8 | When to Care, When Not to

Teach & Serve IV, No. 8

When to Care, When Not to 

September 26, 2018

Separating the essential from the trivial and being able to place the other stuff on a continuum in between is crucial. Acknowledging and responding to what is real and acknowledging and moving on from what is not is a skill that good leaders have.

The work we do can be difficult. The spotlight we are under can be bright. The frying pans we dance in can be hotter than the fire.

But the fire can be pretty damned hot, too.

As educational professionals, an analogy that comes to mind and is most accurate is that we are on stage. Being on stage implies being watched.

By an audience.

Often that audience is highly critical of our performance and members of it can be quite clear about their feelings concerning our work. They can be vocal. They can be challenging. They can be curt. The mechanisms by which they make their feelings known are, perhaps, too readily at hand: texting and email. These are immediate and they hit in real time.

Educational professionals live our lives publicly. Our words are scrutinized. If we have a social media footprint, our Snaps and Tweets and Instas are reviewed. If we do not desire this kind of attention, we may wish to consider other work.

Bad reviews are going to come to us. That is part of the game. So, what do we do when we are nailed by a negative critic or receive a comment that is hurtful? How do we react to these kinds of feedback?

We are best advised to hold on and take a beat, draw a breath and compose ourselves.

There is a first step to the process is to calmly (as calmly as possible) analyze feedback from our critics. We have to determine what is significant and what is not – what is real and what is false. We have to examine what we hear and weigh it. Measure it. Reflect on it.

Because, and here is the magic – get out your pens – we do not need to care about everything. We do not need to react with the same energy to everything. Not every comment is equally important nor is every critique equally valid.

Knowing the difference is key. Separating the essential from the trivial and being able to place the other stuff on a continuum in between is crucial. Acknowledging and responding to what is real and acknowledging and moving on from what is not is a skill that good leaders have. It is paramount that leaders have this ability.

If not, every critical comment sounds the red alert klaxon. Every brusque remark keeps one awake at night. Every negative review generates consternation.

They are not all the same thing. They are not all on the same level. Knowing the difference makes the difference.

Not for nothing, we should apply the exact same steps when we are praised… perhaps with a higher degree of scrutiny.