The Journal presents my weekly reflections on being a private, Catholic school principal during what promises to be a year filled with energy, excitement, challenges and possibilities…
What has become very apparent to me when we reach crossroads of decisions in this environment is this: there is rarely an obvious, correct, well-lit path.
I would say it’s been a long week, but, as I write this, it’s only Tuesday evening and there is much, much more to come. While I can guess at some of what is to come, most of what will happen the last few days of this week is largely unknown. This is the landscape in which we are operating – a constantly shifting one that presents new issues and new challenges on a seemingly hour-by-hour basis.
I don’t know that I will ever get used to this landscape. There is not much to get used to outside of constant change.
As I consider how the administration at the wonderful school which I serve is working to mitigate the effects of the vagaries of ever changing circumstances on our faculty and staff and as I reflect on the amount of time we spend trying to keep things as predictable as possible (a job I need to work much harder at to be at all successful), I know that this is an uphill struggle. Every decision we make is greeted by various opinions, which is natural, but they also come with consequences, some foreseen and some unforeseen.
It’s the unforeseen ones that gnaw at me.
As we have worked to respond to the variables of this year, we have pushed ourselves to remain in a flexible posture, to be nimble and ready to change. We have told ourselves that we would and will adapt our schedules, our plans, our projections to best serve our students and teachers and staff. We have challenged ourselves to not get comfortable and to embrace the new and different.
But, all too often, the changes we enact and the decisions I as principal make create problems or inspire vitriolic reactions that were impossible to anticipate and are hard to absorb.
Over the course of the past week, my commitment to our faculty has been questioned, and my judgement of what is best for our students has been challenged. I have addressed emails that are angry and disappointed. I have spoken with members of our staff who are hurt. I have been called a liar.
All of these incidents have arisen out of decisions that have been considered, reflected upon, discussed and carefully made. All of these reactions have been to choices that are intended to improve what is happening in our school and for our community.
My own reaction to these reactions is to question myself as the final authority in these instances. While discussions about what we do are collaborative, the choices, at the end of the day, lay with me. That’s the work. That’s the job. That’s one of the gifts of leadership.
Following whatever emotional response I have to reactions such as these, I come back to a central idea: did the choice at hand come from a place of true and pure desire to best serve our students and staff? A secondary but no less important exercise in these moments is this: can I remember that I cannot please everyone all the time and that no solution is perfect?
When I can place myself squarely in this headspace, my reaction to reactions is much more easily borne.
What has become very apparent to me when we reach crossroads of decisions in this environment is this: there is rarely an obvious, correct, well-lit path. Rather, I am reminded of a terrific quote from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. When asked about a choice he made, Admiral Kirk responds: “There’s no correct resolution. It’s a test of character.”
The 2020-2021 school year presents us all with these tests of character. I pray that I am up to this challenge more often than I fail it.
We have been in a distance learning posture this week and, while there have been members of our community in contact with someone who has tested positive, we have had no positive cases within our school. This is a real blessing as we return to in-person learning this week. I hope I can report no new cases next week as well.