… the hard things typically involve disappointing others or letting others down. These are the hardest things for me.
I liked to be liked.
This may be my most defining characteristic. In my personal life and in my professional life, I like to be liked.
I very much like to be liked.
Personally, this is a desire that I would like to manage better.
Professionally, it is a desire that I need to manage much better.
Wanting to be liked is not inherently a bad thing. I have worked with many people – teachers and administrators alike – who do not seem to care if they are liked. Some seem to revel in not being liked. Try as I might, I have never understood that perspective. I have a significantly negative reaction to it.
I have a strong reaction to my own desire to be liked as well. I wonder if it makes me a weaker leader. I wonder this often.
Professionally, in my desire to be liked, I find myself slow-playing difficult information. I find myself avoiding saying hard things to others. I find myself equivocating when I should be direct.
These are not strong traits in a leader.
My desire to be liked means I want everyone to be happy. That leads to a desire to be all things to all people.
I know that I cannot be all things to all people and I tell myself trying to lead in this manner can result in my being all things to no one but myself.
I believe my awareness of this challenge helps. But it only helps when I push myself through it to do hard things.
In these cases, the hard things typically involve disappointing others or letting others down. These are the hardest things for me.
I can do hard things. Pushing myself to do the hardest will make me a better leader.