As I write this, it is the week after the 60th anniversary of the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. With each anniversary of the event, more information comes to light or, perhaps more precisely, old information is recycled and repackaged and re-released. As a younger man, I dove into some of the information surrounding the circumstances of the president’s death, reading hundreds of pages on the subject. I became something of a minor expert on a few theories and I found myself in the camp that believes that there was some kind of conspiracy involved in the assassination. 

Most Americans believe there was a conspiracy behind the assassination, some 65% of Americans according to a 2023 Gallup poll. 

I am unsurprised by this fact not because of anything I personally believe about a 60 year old murder, but because, in my experience as a school leader, most of those I work with are ready to believe there are conspiracies all around them. Many look at discrete things their colleagues do, or at slights that have happened to them, or at directions their schools are headed with which they do not agree and link incident to incident to incident as though they are putting together an elaborate puzzle, the solution to which is a predetermined outcome: there is a conspiracy among us.

I believe we are too quick to ascribe intricate motives to what others do.

This is not to say that there are, in fact, hidden agendas and plans within schools. There sometimes are. This is not to say that there are not bad actors in our profession. They exist. This is not to say that there are not ugly situations that play out among us. These happen all too frequently.

However, to always default to conspiracy is dangerous. 

Most often, in my experience, those who have done us wrong or have done things with which we disagree or have led the school down a path which is inexplicable to us do not have a master plan which they are executing. They are too busy, too overwhelmed, or too tired to engage in such machinations. They are simply doing – perhaps well, perhaps poorly – but without a mosaic of strategic moves and countermoves.

Are there some conspiracies among us? I will grant there might be some.

Is every puzzle we put together about others’ motivations correctly assembled? I suggest that, more often than not, these puzzles are of our own creation.

REPOSTING THIS OFFERING IS AN ANNUAL, THANKSGIVING TRADITION. I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT.

I am often amazed at the amount of effort it takes to keep a school up-and-running. When I consider it, I am in awe of the people power necessary to get the lights on, keep them on, unlock the doors, fire up the technology, learn the students’ names, observe the faculty, teach the classes, coach the kids and on and on and on.

It is a wonder it happens as consistently and as well as it does.

It might be worth our time, as educational leaders, to remember that and to set aside part of our calendar in our week to do something very, very important.

Share thanks, liberally.

Likely, we could schedule a full day a week for this activity and it would not be enough time.

Think about it. Think about all the people who make the work of your school possible.

Then thank some of them. It would be ideal to thank all of them, to be sure, but start small. Select some around you who deserve thanks. Single them out for your praise in a meeting. Send them an email. Write them a note. Give them a token.

Thank them.

The reality is none of us can run our schools alone. It takes more than a village. It takes a community.

I trust that you have been thanked, at one time or another, out of the blue, when you least expected it. I trust it made you feel good to receive that gratitude.

Share the love.

Imagine the feeling a custodian or a volunteer parent or a brand-new teacher or a long-term substitute might get from reading a card from you. You can change someone’s outlook with that kind of gratitude. You can surely change someone’s day.

Thanking those around us should be a far higher priority than most of us make it. Let us change that.

As we gather next week for Thanksgiving in the United States, our thoughts, hopefully, turn to those things for which we are grateful: family, friends, good health, good jobs… It is my sincere wish that you have many, many things in your life for which you are thankful and that they come to mind readily and easily.

Today, I would like to challenge us to be thankful for some other things, things that do not readily come to mind, things that we might, more likely, rather disdain than praise.

I would like to challenge us to be thankful for:

…the difficult parent conversation because many of these conversations lead us to reassessing how we do our work. In my experience, not all but most of these conversations happen because the parents love their kids and want to support them. Even the most difficult talks can (and often do) teach us something. Think back. Have you changed your approach, your policies, your demeanor because of a conversation like this? Give thanks.

…the challenging student because I would rather have a student challenge me than simply sit there. I would rather have a student fired up about something than a room full of disaffected ones. I would rather have a student make me consider how I deal with challenging students in the first place. We work with kids, they are going to challenge us. More often than not, their challenges can be channeled (if we are skilled) into positive results. Give thanks.

…the unreasonable colleague because most of the people with whom I work only seem unreasonable until I understand from where they are coming. When I work with a colleague whose opinions are outside my own, I have an opportunity to learn something about that colleague and, perhaps, something about myself. If I simply avoid people because I find them “unreasonable” I wonder how many people I will end up having to avoid… Give thanks.

…the inconvenient and inappropriate question because sometimes the out-of-left-field, how-could-you-possibly-have-asked-that-question is exactly the question that needs to be asked. As teachers and leaders, we are sometimes so goal oriented, we forget to slow down and ask outside-the-box questions. We avoid delaying to ask big questions. Someone should ask those and we should give space for them to be asked. Give thanks.

…the times when time runs out because, as leaders, we often impose deadlines. When the deadlines imposed upon us run out and we are late, we sometimes think those deadlines we missed were unreasonable. How about the deadlines we, ourselves, impose? How reasonable are they? Give thanks.

…the dismissal because every dismissal, of a student, staff member or teacher, grants us the opportunity to ask: “did I do everything I could to keep this person around? Did the school do all it could?” Those are terrific questions to ask. Give thanks.

…the late-night cry because getting emotional about our work, getting upset, breaking down, reminds us that we care. Give thanks.

Give thanks for the work. Give thanks for the kids. Give thanks for your colleagues. Give thanks for the challenges.

Give thanks.

In a position I held many years ago, I was walking outside across the quad of the school on my way from one building to another. On the grass, the maintenance staff was setting up for an all-school, outdoor event which was to occur within the next couple hours. The closer I got to the group setting up, the more I could sense something was wrong. The tension was noticeable.

I pulled aside the young man who was in charge of the set up just to see what was wrong.

“We set some of this up last night and it’s all wet.” He said.

He was forlorn.

I looked and, sure enough, the seats of the folding chairs had puddles of water on them and the grass below them was drenched.

Clearly, the staff had forgotten to shut off the sprinkler system.

“Okay,” I said, “what’s the plan?”

The staff had begun moving the chairs to a different part of the quad – a dry part – and had also started wiping the chairs down.

I pitched in.

They needed the help. The president of the school was very conscious of appearances. This event would have parents and board members at it and the maintenance staff – particularly the young man in charge – were more than a bit intimidated by him. 

We worked for about forty-five minutes. I cannot guarantee that everyone had dry backsides when they sat in them, but they were out of the swamp of the wet grass and ready to go before the students, staff, parents and dignitaries hit the field.

All’s well that ends well.

Growing up, I had watched my mother and father set up and take down many an event, those that they were speakers at or a part of and those that they were not. It was just what one did to help things come off correctly and well. That day in the wet grass, it never occurred to me to do anything but help.

I believe that if we, as leaders, are unwilling to move the chairs, if we somehow think the task beneath us or that we are more important than the work, then we are not effective leaders. I believe we are not even that good.

If you disagree, we have very different definitions of leadership.

Leaders often assume responsibility not only for the success of their leadership initiatives but also for the emotional well-being of those they lead. While this sense of responsibility is not inherently wrong, it is what leaders do with these impulses that truly defines their leadership.

Leaders sometimes labor under the illusion that they must possess every answer, manipulate every lever, and shoulder the burden on their own. Leadership can indeed be isolating, but leaders who distance themselves from those they lead, whether administrators or classroom teachers, can quickly find themselves trapped in an echo chamber that constantly reinforces the idea that their voice is the most important.

When a leader believes that they alone hold all the answers, they are already on the path to diminishing their effectiveness. Highly effective leaders who fall into this trap see their effectiveness wane rapidly. Unfortunately, it is all too easy for leaders to gravitate towards this approach, as it is a simpler and more personally gratifying course.

You’re the leader; you have all the answers, and it feels like you’re the protagonist in a story with a heroic soundtrack.

Cue the string section now.

However, here’s the truth: genuine leaders recognize that they cannot have all the answers, nor should they try to. They accept the presence of gaps and relish the fact that it is through collaboration with colleagues, students, and families that challenges are met, obstacles overcome, and gaps bridged. Authentic leaders proactively seek out these gaps and empower those around them to contribute their insights. And when necessary, they are willing to roll up their sleeves and contribute alongside their team.

Weak leaders react differently. They dread a situation where they do not have all the answers or where gaps are evident. When these gaps are brought to their attention, they rush to fill them with whatever resources they have at hand. This compulsion to fill gaps arises from their fear that having gaps implies they are not performing their job adequately and that unhappiness or uncertainty is brewing among those they lead.

Strong leaders, in contrast, embrace the reality that they cannot possess all the answers. They foster an environment that acknowledges gaps as a normal and natural part of the landscape. They view these gaps as opportunities rather than deficiencies.

Strong leaders actively seek chances to pose questions that bring people together. Weak leaders rush to answer questions before they are even asked.