Teach & Serve IV, No. 9
Take the Time
October 3, 2018
Why is she so successful in getting students to care about her and the subjects she teaches?
Because she cares about them. Deeply. And she is not afraid to let them know it
My wife is a high school teacher. A veteran. She has been doing the work for years and she simply knows her stuff. I admire her so much and respect what she does and how she does it. I want to be more like her in so many ways, including the manner in which I work with students. I have been able to watch her in the classroom – we used to team teach – and I have had hundreds of hours of conversation with her about teaching and about students.
I have learned her secret.
Why is she so successful in getting students to care about her and the subjects she teaches?
Because she cares about them. Deeply. And she is not afraid to let them know it.
A case in point: last year, as she was moderating an after-school club, there was an issue with a student. Unbeknownst to my wife, this student was being removed by a coach from a role on a team, a role for which the student had worked very hard and a role he very clearly wanted. The young man was stressed out, maybe by the club, maybe by the coach, maybe by his school work, maybe by other forces. He was at his wits end. And he lost it.
He fled the room screaming and ran from the building – and this was after hours.
My wife, who had been working in another classroom heard the commotion (perhaps it is appropriate to note that the coach who triggered the event did not call for my wife). She went out after him and got him to stop running, quit yelling and calm down. She brought him back in the building, asked him his concerns, engaged him and told him that, given his state of upset, he would need to call a parent to pick him up from practice. She listened in as he made the call.
Perhaps any competent and caring educator would take these steps. While I would argue that experience has suggested to me that may not be the case, let us accept that most would do so.
It is the next steps that distinguish my wife.
She spoke that night with the student when he returned home. She spoke with his mother that night as well. She spoke to them for hours. She made a plan for the student to come to the next practice and meet with the coach – a meeting my wife moderated. Following that meeting, she spoke again on the phone with the student and the student’s mother. She offered to go out to coffee with them. When she realized that the dynamics at play for the kid and his family went beyond his role on the club, she brought in the appropriate resources.
She could have walked away or shied away or dealt with the scenario in any number of less responsible and less satisfying ways.
She did not and the kid’s life was better for it.
My wife took the time to engage the student. She took the time to listen. She took the time to care.
Our students and our children deserve more teachers like my wife in their lives.