When a relationship is broken, the educational professional must go to work.
“It’s all about relationships.”
I have heard that the work we do in education revolves entirely around the relationships we have with students and parents and colleagues. I have seen Ted Talk after Ted Talk that espouses the same maxim. I have internalized the idea to such an extent that it feels as though it is my own. I have likely passed it off as such.
That the work we do is about relationships is a truism.
The intent behind it is pure: educational professionals who recognize that their relationships with those they journey will define that very journey are better educators than those who do not share that understanding.
The catch here is that, when the importance of relationships is underscored, there is a presumption that we are in good relationships with others. Not only is this not always the case, this is not always something that an educational professional can control.
Relationships are partnerships. How both parties in a relationship view the other defines the relationship itself.
What happens when the relationship is bad?
“It’s all about relationships.”
I am skeptical of any teacher who says they have always liked each and every one of their students. That strikes me as statistically impossible. I am also skeptical of any administrator who suggests they have never had a negative feeling about those they serve.
Sometimes the relationship does not work, is not good, cannot function well.
What happens then?
“It’s all about relationships.”
When a relationship is broken, the educational professional must go to work. I do not believe in one way repairs in relationships. I do believe we can and should control how we react to those with whom our relationships are strained. While we are not always in charge of our thoughts, we are in charge of our actions and our words.
How we treat those we do not readily enjoy – those who know where each of our buttons are and are adept at pushing them – this defines us as professionals.
“It’s all about relationships.”